Skipping + Heart Attacks

After Phys, all four of us skipped class. Initially it was supposed to be around 10 minutes max. Somewhere along the way, Ling and i got separated from them. The culprit: Ice-cream. So we waited for 15 minutes until the back door opened. We chiong-ed out and bought it. I got a sandwich too yays.

We walked past a lot of classes while eating cos it was melting, and people looked out at us. Almost got caught by a teacher too lolx. Then we went to watch volleyball. Kath said they were there. But it turned out they were guai, as they were in the Lab already O.O And guess who i saw? Hmm many people=)

We skipped the whole two last periods. Last 20 minutes was pretty boring. Stayed in our empty class and chatted randomly.

New Stuffs

i finally got the Bluetooth thingy on my computer to work=) Transferring files as im typing here haha. Okay, a couple of happy news to share.

First of all, i got my bottle back! On Tuesday, i RAN up to Bio lab with a lot of people in tow. FOUND IT. Here's the pic as i promised :)

That morning i also got another pleasant surprise. Kath and i got the watch we ordered. Woots! Hers is white and prettier than mine. But i love mine too=) It's supposedly purple. But it turned out pink. Who's fault is that huh, Kath? lolz!


It's kinda okay lar. People say it suits me. Maybe cos a lot of my stuff is pink? LoL

On Wednesday, we did tried to mutilate potatoes. Why is that our PEKA? I have no idea. It was kinda fun lah. That was the first experiment i did with my group. The previous ones i ran around with Ling doing nothing=) So after we cut the potatoes into strips, there was a lot leftover. May and i started randomly cutting them up and stuff. Hers looked like the chopped lily roots cos there were holes in the potato. Dunno how to explain=\ While i did this :



Kath says it looks like a peanut. Does it? Dunno where she comes from-.-

Lived Through It



I walked in and dared not see
Every muscle tensed and waited, but it wasn't meant to be
A word of reassurance, instilled confidence
And for a moment....i wasn't so tarnished




Minutes seemed like hours, the unbearable tension
At long last it was over, and bated breath released
Nervous laughter broke out the first step taken out
Back to normal, as normal as it could ever be....being around.




A short snippet of a mini-happening today. Those who weren't there wouldn't get it, those who were and not in possession of the complete facts wouldn't either. lolz. I wonder how many will...? =)

Deal With It

Everyone's having a freaking lousy time going on with their lives. Everyone's having difficulties, being tested harshly in different ways...and in more than one.

It's no different here. Everyone thinks everyone else leads a better life..."the grass is always greener on the other side"? Guess what, it isn't always so. People who seem carefree aren't always are, people who look happy don't really have to be. You can't see the pain hidden behind smiles and laughter, you don't realize the hurt shown in their eyes, and you'll never hear the uncontrolled crying behind their bedroom walls.

I've had my share of problems. All the crap i've endured...is kinda indescribable, i guess. It's different alright...but more than what a normal teen endures? I guess not. But being a teen, im still centered in my own world. I care about me, I and huey...a lot=\ Sometimes just too much.

Im so damned sorry. I know i get so stupid and uncontrollably emotional at times, whining about the same idiotic things that never really matter anyways. I feel so freaking weird getting worked up, feel better and change my mind, then get all worked up again. And moreover, i feel so darned selfish. I wished i could do better, say something else. But at times like that, i just feel so helpless. I don't know what to say, i haven't a clue what to do. And i just despise myself because of that.

During the darkest of days, when all seemed hopeless. I thought of something that initially seems harsh enough, yet gave me the strength to get going again.

Who am i? Just another girl. One person among the billions of others. Who will notice if i just disappeared? Who will care when i am no longer there?

And because of that, who will pay attention to me of all people? I am not special. I am not that much different. Why would someone waste their time on me? And because of that disturbing thought, i knew i must be strong for myself. No one would be there watching my back, no one would always be there to catch me when i fall. Everyone is too preoccupied with their own lives, too busy wallowing in their own sorrows. And i knew, i must be strong for me.

Recent Events

Okay here i am. I couldn't online for the past week or so, so i didn't update=\ Right now, i don't really know what to say either. Just that im sick, sick of everything. Just damn sick and tired.

First and foremost, the good news=] Yayers!~ By some extraordinary stroke of luck i managed to pass all the subjects that have been passed back. Which is everything except General Science :D Woots~ I really didn't see that one coming. I was already prepared to fail Add Maths and Chemistry--my two worst subjects. But somehow i passed my Chem [the last page was all wrong! lol]. And as for my Add Maths, i was super lucky. Exactly 40 lolz! Close call x3 *runs around being happy* lol.

Now for the bad. I lost my water bottle. Again. It's the 2nd time this month-.- The first one i lost was vivid pink. I don't even know how i lost it. So my dad went to buy another one but in orange this time. And before i even had time to "pei yang gan qing" with my new bottle, it was left in the Bio lab of our school. Yeesh i almost went to school at 5pm to find it but someone saved me from embarrassment by telling me not to 'cause the lab would be locked. Love u! lol


My lost bottle has the almost exact same shade as this one. Where is it? Miss my bottle lol. I'll post a real pic when i find it=]

I went to the Spring today. I was so irritated by my cous-.- I'd actually go as far as to say i hate him, the whiny piggo. He couldn't stop talking and whining and complaining... Oh gosh it drove me crazy. I know im not a quiet person myself but when with family, i'd rather have silence than the whole bunch of them yammering. It drove me up the freakin' flowery walls of the Spring. And to add to my emotional load, i passed by a particular store. Yeesh i even took a pic of it. People'll think im a sam pa lao, never see stores before-.-

After all that i just felt so suffocated. I just couldn't take it anymore. I think i went crazy=\ Thanks to KT+Zo+Chu, i felt so much better afterwards. After my breakdown, 2 people had one too. Don't wanna get too detailed=) Chu, the best of luck for a brighter future. Everyone has their own problems right? Hers just seems too serious. Nobody should have to face what she is facing, what she has faced all her life. I just wish i could do more for her=\ As for Kath, im sure you'll get through with yours=)

Just for you=)


Somethings just never change. You think you're all that, but i say you're just a pile of crap. See, another opening to a poem. But you're so not worth it. I composed something for the last person i hate but im so not gonna waste my time on composing one for you. Too bad huh? Who cares, go and envy that last bitch la.

Don't think i don't know what you did, don't think i have no idea what you say. Im not so naive, nor that ignorant, and definitely not as stupid you think me to be. I see through all you acts, all your pretenses, and sometimes i just pity you. Just another wannabe. Get your own life la!

Stop acting masculine when you are actually so damn feminine.
Stop pretending to be absolutely fine when you're hurting inside.
Stop faking a plain ordinary creep when you're just another huai3 emo freak.

I hate your lies. I hate your attitude. And most of all, i hate your stupid whiny voice. Sometimes i just feel like sticking one famous line up your beloved anus [i actually forgot what it is-.-]. And why don't you get it on already? You're so perfect together. And im sure the other will be there thanking the gods for being spared. Just like i am.

When you say im like shit, i'd say "at least i have a bigger dick." But uhh...i don't. So ahh... never mind=)

I don't care a fuck, i don't piss a damn.
You can just kiss my butt, and shut up with the crap.
It's over, before it even started.
I could care less, 'caz all you did was farted.
No, you're not the one i missed.
And im sure it's the same with you.
You're the one who chose to be parted, so it's what you gotta do.
We chose our separate paths, you agreed it was best.
When dawn turns to dusk, we just have to accept i guess.
It's not a matter of faults. You just can't let it go.
It's all behind us, so why not let it flow?
But really, i could care less. It just isn't capturing.
And thanks for all the attention, i find it all too flattering.


Hmm... composed it last night around 1.30 on my bed, in the dark, during a storm. Finished it at 1.59 exactly. Pretty good since it didn't come out being total crap ;D
What does it mean? Why am i doing wuliao stuff like this?
That's for me to know, and you to ponder xP

p/s : KT, it's not what you think lolz. Y, yeah yeah, i failed=\

K - Killer attitude.
A combination of hyperactivity, total coolness, and extreme superbness that just leaves you starry-eyed. Exaggeration xD.

A - Always there...for the people she cares=)
Awesomeness that rocks your socks. Can't shake her off even if you wanted to. Not that anyone would =]

T - The best.
Ever.

H - Humorous
Live. Laugh. Love.

L - Lookin' good! And lovable too =)
Always. Haha.

E - Exceptionally herself.
No posers here :D

E - Extremely emo.
No shit. And we love her for it.

N - Naughty? Or nice?
A 'lil bit of both =)


Happy birthday, Kath! Another year older, another year maturer [hopefully, but i doubt it lol]. Stay cute, stay funny, but if you change, we'll still love you the same=)

Problems

Everything i do is absolutely wrong.
Everything i say is just worthless bull.
The air i breathe, the space i occupy...is just plain wasting.
My very existence is the biggest mistake you ever made.

Everything you do is right.
Everything you say is important and valuable.
The air you breathe, the space space you occupy is putting it to good use.
Your existence benefits the world.

You are always right. You do so because you care. You say so for my own good. Doing so makes you responsible. Saying so is completing your duty.

It's been 15 years, 3 months and 13 days since i first cried. It's been at least 13 years since i first stood. I eat solid food. I don't walk with a wobble. I don't need you to wipe my butt after i defaecate. But why do you always think that i do?

You always exaggerate so much. I never asked for much. I don't go out every day. I don't online every waking moment. I don't waste hundreds on smsing. But every time, you say i do. You say all i do is useless, worthless crap. You think you're always right. I should respect you, but what about me?

I only wish for...

Some respect
After all, i am a human being. I have my own thinking, my own feelings and my rights. Please respect them.

Listen
I have the right to voice out. And please don't feel you have the right to shut it out.

Talk nicely
Nobody likes to be shouted at.

No exaggeration
When the first sentence is a lie. The rest is bound to be.

Freedom
Don't say i can't. Im not a child. At least give me the benefit of doubt. I just might surprise you.

Is that just too much to ask? Apparently, it is.