Deal With It

Everyone's having a freaking lousy time going on with their lives. Everyone's having difficulties, being tested harshly in different ways...and in more than one.

It's no different here. Everyone thinks everyone else leads a better life..."the grass is always greener on the other side"? Guess what, it isn't always so. People who seem carefree aren't always are, people who look happy don't really have to be. You can't see the pain hidden behind smiles and laughter, you don't realize the hurt shown in their eyes, and you'll never hear the uncontrolled crying behind their bedroom walls.

I've had my share of problems. All the crap i've endured...is kinda indescribable, i guess. It's different alright...but more than what a normal teen endures? I guess not. But being a teen, im still centered in my own world. I care about me, I and huey...a lot=\ Sometimes just too much.

Im so damned sorry. I know i get so stupid and uncontrollably emotional at times, whining about the same idiotic things that never really matter anyways. I feel so freaking weird getting worked up, feel better and change my mind, then get all worked up again. And moreover, i feel so darned selfish. I wished i could do better, say something else. But at times like that, i just feel so helpless. I don't know what to say, i haven't a clue what to do. And i just despise myself because of that.

During the darkest of days, when all seemed hopeless. I thought of something that initially seems harsh enough, yet gave me the strength to get going again.

Who am i? Just another girl. One person among the billions of others. Who will notice if i just disappeared? Who will care when i am no longer there?

And because of that, who will pay attention to me of all people? I am not special. I am not that much different. Why would someone waste their time on me? And because of that disturbing thought, i knew i must be strong for myself. No one would be there watching my back, no one would always be there to catch me when i fall. Everyone is too preoccupied with their own lives, too busy wallowing in their own sorrows. And i knew, i must be strong for me.

0 comments