When it all turns dark,
When people told me they don't care a fuck,
I listened and swallowed it all in,

Taggy taggy~



Got tagged by Vivian and KathLyn.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Realised i got tagged by Vivian and KathLyn.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Answered the damned old unsimplified Chinese questions with minimal vomiting of blood. I congratulate myself.


Okay, im doing Kath's since i saw her tagged first, though in reality Vivi tagged me first.


游 戲規則：被點到名字的要在自己的博客裏寫下自己的答案，然 後去掉一個你最不喜歡的問題再补上一個你的問題，仍然組成20個問題，傳給其他10個人，列出其 他10個需要回答問題的人的名字，還要到這10個人的博客裏留言通知對方----你被點名了，被點名者不得拒絕回答問題，完成遊戲的人將會永遠得到大家的 祝 福。這10個人要在自己的博客裏註明是從哪裏接到的，並且再傳給其他10個人，讓遊戲繼續下去，不得囘傳。被點到名字的人將會得到大家的祝福，並且所有美 好的 願望都會在不久的將來實現。

1. 如果你有特异功能， 你会干什么？
Build my life to be what i want it to be.

2. 最满意你身体的哪一部分？
Err... i'd say eyes=)

3. 认为自己哪一个优点最讨人欢喜？
O.o my weirdness...? Or maybe that's what people hate the most about me lol.

4. 希望有个怎样的恋爱？
Hmms....fairytale xD

5. 你最想去哪个地方？
Anywhere, relaxing with my friends, for a long period of time.

6. 最受不了自己哪个缺点？
Saying things i shouldn't...at times.

7. 如果有不开心的事情，你会怎么办?
Cry or formulating evil plans in my head. What? It makes me feel better :D

8. 最害怕失去的东西？
Friends....and my good points i guess.

9. 现在最想做的事？
Finish with the freaking exams and get on with hols!

10. 若遇見喜歡的人，你會怎樣做？
Haha. Depends on the situation duh.

11. 说出点你名的人的3个优点。
Ehhh...i have to do this 2 times...?! Fine, for Kath: Emo, Hyperactive, Influential xD. Vivi: Cute, Pretty, Amusing. lols.

12. 你最希望你的另一半对你做的一件事？
Err... How about...love me forevermore? Not possible, but i still wish it xD

13. 在生命里，你觉得最困扰你的是什么？
Constant stress.

14. 你最讨厌怎样的人？
Double-faced. Don't ever talk shit behind my back and let me catch you.

15. 你最难过的事情?
Get ignored by whoever i deem as an important person in my life.

16. 你的梦中情人长什么样子？
Faces don't matter, it's the personality that counts =)

17. 你认为遇到什么样的事情才会令你觉得人性很黑暗？
No friends. No one that cares.

18. 如果能让你实现一个愿望，会是什么？
Have a perfect life.

19. 至今，你最遗憾的是什么？
Not cherishing what i have until it's gone. People, places and my old lifestyle...i miss you guys! T_T

20. 觉得人生最重要的事情是什么？
Nothing...? Live your life the way you want it, no regrets=) cos there's no definite important thing~


我点：-

Everyone on my Links who haven't been tagged.
Anyone else who wants to be tagged.
Those who read my blog regularly, GET A BLOG AND BE TAGGED. If you haven't already :)

Saturday. Gerko Day. But i didn't go. Cos i was lazy. So i slept in late. Then had brunch with parents outside as usual.

Then i went to school for my usual Taekwondo. Whoopee....! Im gonna be a yellow belter SOON. *Sticks tongue out* lol. While some people are gonna stay white belters :D Okay lar, i feel bad cos it's partly my fault=\

But no i don't feel bad. Cos that person got her revenge today. She kicked me during practice. I go a boo-boo. Luckily my cous had a plaster handy=) And someone keep chao2 me for some info on my cous. It was weird. Lol

NEXT----

Went to tHe Spring. Lol, that's how they type it in the newspapers~ Walked around. Went to Ta Kiong.




Omg omg omg...!! Doritos and tacos! *Drools uncontrollably* Okay, that's disgusting but i absolutely L-O-V-E them. I didn't know you could get them here. Awww reminds me so much of the US. Tacos are the best i tell you! Just that....my mom won't buy them for me :(

Tomorrow we SS sudents are having a last-minute-before-exams-seminar-thingy at MBKS Audi. There's gonna be only a half an hour break for lunch only. So my parents decided to let me bring stuff there for my lunch.


Yep that's Big Apple Donuts and Coffee. It was my first time there=) People mountain people sea arh!! I bought half a dozen. My dad said 2 would be enough [which is true] but i didn't want to choose between all the delicious flavours.






If anyone wonders, yes i do love chocolate a lot. lolx. The only non-choc one is Say Cheese, which incidentally, is the only doughnut name i remember. It's covered with New Zealand cheese. Yumms!

Now the question is...which one to bring and which one not to? Hmms. Tough one.

Fishies

Okay i know i know, haven't updated. But im gonna cut the crap cos it's late and i've just decided to blog a bit.

Today is like....Labour's Day. Wheeeee~ aka Family Day [for me anyways. Red for Love~ xD]. Woke up very late. Got a few messages from wuliao people *ahem ahem* i don't think they're gonna message me anymore after reading this *cough cough* lols.

So my parents and i went for brunch. Late brunch too. Then we went wad Kampung Goelit (something like that lol) and looked for some fresh fishies. Yeap we found a lot, fresh from the fishing boats. They were icky, slimy and had that fish smell.

My mom bought some small squid, and fish called jana or something. Well, that's what my dad said. My mom cooked the squid and fish already so no pics. Sorries. Extras are in the fridge, don't make me go take them out!

While i was there i saw a humongous fish. Some buyers were weighing it so i got to see the weight. It was a whooping 11kg. Like ohmyfrickin'dearness that's HUGE. Too bad they were blocking it so i couldn't take any pics. It was bent in a C shape, so my dad said it's not fresh.

Okay i know, excuses. I do have one pic though. I took it quickly before they saw lol. I don't even know what it is.


And i'd like to point something out: I can't find any fat people there. I looked up, looked around, looked into the drains, even into the murky water where many kids were swimming: no fat people! Which means....im the only fat person for miles. How depressing T.T

Yep. Long time no post. Wasn't and still isn't in the mood for it but im gonna write something short anyways. Before i login to Cabal and am dead to the world=)

Friends....
Does it stop at a difference in gender?
Is it impossible with a variance in status? [and i don't mean wealth]



Your thoughts: totally wrong. Your ways: done through your mistaken perceptions. It's not my fault, not my guilt to bear....so don't blame it on me. Think it over for yourself.

Thank you, for making it all awkward.
Thank you, for killing a few dozen brain cells of mine.
Thank you, for ruining my mood for a short part of today.
Most of all.....thank you, for ruining our friendships so royally. It won't be the same ever again.


And it's not worth it. At all.

What I Wanna Say

Im gonna so revert back to my style of expressing for this post. Bear with me=)

Sometimes, even the best of friends can get in a fight. Once upon a time, two individuals will stick with each other every scorching minute in the Malaysian heat. But such perfection never lasts...like what the poet says in Sonnet 18. Ok crap im bringing in Literature. Vote for me in Asian's Lamest Blog-.-

How come it seems like my social web is falling apart? Strand by strand. Ever since that incident, everything differed. I thought it couldn't affect me....how very wrong i was. Just because i sought to forgive rather than to despise; to put aside rather than to let it control me. Is what i do wrong? I feel like im being suffocated.

Taekwondo Dilemmas

I forgot my belt. I like freakin' forgot my lousy useless worthless white belt. Yea i know it's plain and stupid and i don't even like it anyways BUT....i needed it. So i was like freaking out. Almost to the point of me pulling my hair out. But then thankfully, my cous borrowed one for me. Ah i do love him much=)



Then we had to wait till our names were called again cos we missed it the first time due to my belt crisis. The guy called me.... Ng Mei Hoon. Like wtf, dude, we waited so long LEH and you still dare insult me! I am not a plate of fried Rice Vermicelli. And yes i looked that term up-.-



When it was our turn, i was unlucky enough to be in the front row. Damn you stupid guy that doesn't know how to pronounce my name properly. I think i did well...to a point. The last two moves which was something kicking and four direction one-or-another i totally froze. I kept doing it wrong so i got pissed and waited till they finished with my arms on my hips. Very da pai hor? *Hits self on the forehead*

After that was fine i guess. We had to wait, wait and more waiting. Because i was following Feli's car home. I took pics of Feli and Amy! Along with a loooong video of them "testing"! Muahahah. But im not sure i can post it here. Oh well. Wasn't clear anyways.





Oh and Wendy didn't go today. Told you to ask whether you're father knows the way. Told you to confirm earlier. Told you not to do things last minute. Haha i sound like my mother. My phone was in my bag when she called me. My dad said she called him too. Wtf dun hiao my dad la. Lol. My dad didn't know the way either. If not i go with Feli for what? Shiok?! So she didn't go, along with her bro.


Tune in next time for the answers and more xD

Phys and food


It's was Phys tuition at room 3. Ling had it with me as a replacement because she had dinner on Monday. So we talked and talked and yadda yadda. Actually, 70% of the words are coming out of her mouth, me pretending to listen listening to her avidly and not doing any work. lolx.





He's so gonna kill me. We have CCTV marr... Let's hope he won't go counting the tables and find the exact position where i took the picture to find my identity and assassinate me. Lol *prays*

For supper i went to Jalan Song. Yummies. Kath: u always go jalan song for ur supper ha? Lol reminds me of that time Lyni saw me fall-.- Actually i tripped on the frickin' over-da-pian stairs cos i was SMSing. Unfortunate enough to be witnessed by someone *sobs* Nah it was memorable. Haha





I wanna go on diet! I wanna stop eating fabulous high-calorie foods for supper! I dun wanna become a short AND fat person. But i can't....im gonna be a ball soon=\

Debates


My friends and i stayed back after school to watch debate. We, of course, supported our class team...4S2=)

First speaker : Seth Chew the PM...lols
Second speaker : Datin Seri Cheryl Chu aka Deputy Minister
Third speaker : Datuk Kuok Kim Chern aka The Old Man

Btw, they're the government, supporting the fact that homework IS a burden to students. I say hell yeah! lol

After the formalities, our supposed Prime Minister started his speech. He was pretty nervous since he got a bit tongue-tied but i think his speech went well. i read a bit of their speech and it was so cool man. there was one point that said homework is actually considered child labour in some parts of the world. I wanna go live there.


We also went to watch 4S4 compete with 4T. We only heard the 2nd speaker of 4T and 3rd speaker of 4S4 speak but that was enough for us to conclude : 4T is being slaughtered. 4S4's 3rd speaker is so damn good. Even better than our class's DM and Datuk. Incidentally, she was best speaker. No surprises there.

We didn't have time to catch 4S1 and 4S5 compete. But it was okay. 4S5 won=) Woots! Good news everywhere lols. 4S2, 4S4, 4S5 to the next round! Wheeee~ wish you guys good luck on Thurs :D

Essays and Lunches

There was an essay-writing competition today. All four of us took up writing my plans for the future and made it sound so typically us.

• Kath wrote it simple and concise about getting borangs, being kicked out of school and being sent to NZ. lolz.

• Wendy wanted to further her studies, get a job, get a good man and die at the age of 70 'cos she's unhealthy. Like wtf? Where have i heard that before? Hmm.
  

• I wrote about studying graphic design =) I also wanted to add "being an international blogger" lol. But, i ended my essay with "To Be Continued..." cos there wasn't enough time=\I put those in bullets in hope it would be easier to read. Considerate me xD
  
  
  
  ________________________________________

Kath, Wendy and I skipped last period to buy our lunches. Cos Kath, Yun n i were gonna stay back to watch debate. We ran across two main roads full of traffic to reach our precious food. We ran even harder back. But as we got there...the back door was closed. We had to wait outside until it opened again=\

I ordered sweet and sour prawn rice. They gave me rice with some unidentified objects. The prawns still had their heads and legs intact and were cooked with flour. Which made them look big and icky. Dadi even asked me..."Eeee Mei Huey, wad is that?!" I think you can imagine the extent of the ickyness.

Some of you might have noticed i haven't posted anything lately. *perasan* lolz. Okay, for all of you who did notice, i was couldn't touch the computer for months...okaaayy days. When i did, i was busy doing stuffs. what i did these few computer-less days:

• Went Jimmy's house~ [Okay this was long ago. lols]
  

• Went on a Trip! Post pics later maybe.
  

• Skipped Taekwondo! [Not to mention countless classes]

• Took pics of me and mom doing housework=) *inserts "pretend" somewhere* haha
  
  
• Did the report for the pics. [Okay not me. It's was someone else=)]

• Wrote a Resignation Letter... wtf

Bravery - Being frightened of something, yet doing it anyways. Was almost there, yet couldn't touch the finish line. Total wuss. So sorry...to and for, myself.


I did Mami's Friend Test. It was HARD. Cos i really don't know him much haha. I got 40%...which was courtesy of pure luck and DaJiaoFam questions. Those were totally easy lols. Now i get why even Dadi din get that high a score. Kath really needs a medal. She got 80%. Insanity right there. Anyone wanna try their luck blind-clicking?


I also did this completely random test thingy. It was completely and utterly wrong. Okay only the front part. My thoughts now : Sorry; my feelings about life: Is it you? Lol. Sorry to the guys' names whom i mentioned in there. I laughed when i read the result...totally wrong lol

Skipping + Heart Attacks

After Phys, all four of us skipped class. Initially it was supposed to be around 10 minutes max. Somewhere along the way, Ling and i got separated from them. The culprit: Ice-cream. So we waited for 15 minutes until the back door opened. We chiong-ed out and bought it. I got a sandwich too yays.

We walked past a lot of classes while eating cos it was melting, and people looked out at us. Almost got caught by a teacher too lolx. Then we went to watch volleyball. Kath said they were there. But it turned out they were guai, as they were in the Lab already O.O And guess who i saw? Hmm many people=)

We skipped the whole two last periods. Last 20 minutes was pretty boring. Stayed in our empty class and chatted randomly.

New Stuffs

i finally got the Bluetooth thingy on my computer to work=) Transferring files as im typing here haha. Okay, a couple of happy news to share.

First of all, i got my bottle back! On Tuesday, i RAN up to Bio lab with a lot of people in tow. FOUND IT. Here's the pic as i promised :)

That morning i also got another pleasant surprise. Kath and i got the watch we ordered. Woots! Hers is white and prettier than mine. But i love mine too=) It's supposedly purple. But it turned out pink. Who's fault is that huh, Kath? lolz!


It's kinda okay lar. People say it suits me. Maybe cos a lot of my stuff is pink? LoL

On Wednesday, we did tried to mutilate potatoes. Why is that our PEKA? I have no idea. It was kinda fun lah. That was the first experiment i did with my group. The previous ones i ran around with Ling doing nothing=) So after we cut the potatoes into strips, there was a lot leftover. May and i started randomly cutting them up and stuff. Hers looked like the chopped lily roots cos there were holes in the potato. Dunno how to explain=\ While i did this :



Kath says it looks like a peanut. Does it? Dunno where she comes from-.-

Lived Through It



I walked in and dared not see
Every muscle tensed and waited, but it wasn't meant to be
A word of reassurance, instilled confidence
And for a moment....i wasn't so tarnished




Minutes seemed like hours, the unbearable tension
At long last it was over, and bated breath released
Nervous laughter broke out the first step taken out
Back to normal, as normal as it could ever be....being around.




A short snippet of a mini-happening today. Those who weren't there wouldn't get it, those who were and not in possession of the complete facts wouldn't either. lolz. I wonder how many will...? =)

Deal With It

Everyone's having a freaking lousy time going on with their lives. Everyone's having difficulties, being tested harshly in different ways...and in more than one.

It's no different here. Everyone thinks everyone else leads a better life..."the grass is always greener on the other side"? Guess what, it isn't always so. People who seem carefree aren't always are, people who look happy don't really have to be. You can't see the pain hidden behind smiles and laughter, you don't realize the hurt shown in their eyes, and you'll never hear the uncontrolled crying behind their bedroom walls.

I've had my share of problems. All the crap i've endured...is kinda indescribable, i guess. It's different alright...but more than what a normal teen endures? I guess not. But being a teen, im still centered in my own world. I care about me, I and huey...a lot=\ Sometimes just too much.

Im so damned sorry. I know i get so stupid and uncontrollably emotional at times, whining about the same idiotic things that never really matter anyways. I feel so freaking weird getting worked up, feel better and change my mind, then get all worked up again. And moreover, i feel so darned selfish. I wished i could do better, say something else. But at times like that, i just feel so helpless. I don't know what to say, i haven't a clue what to do. And i just despise myself because of that.

During the darkest of days, when all seemed hopeless. I thought of something that initially seems harsh enough, yet gave me the strength to get going again.

Who am i? Just another girl. One person among the billions of others. Who will notice if i just disappeared? Who will care when i am no longer there?

And because of that, who will pay attention to me of all people? I am not special. I am not that much different. Why would someone waste their time on me? And because of that disturbing thought, i knew i must be strong for myself. No one would be there watching my back, no one would always be there to catch me when i fall. Everyone is too preoccupied with their own lives, too busy wallowing in their own sorrows. And i knew, i must be strong for me.

Recent Events

Okay here i am. I couldn't online for the past week or so, so i didn't update=\ Right now, i don't really know what to say either. Just that im sick, sick of everything. Just damn sick and tired.

First and foremost, the good news=] Yayers!~ By some extraordinary stroke of luck i managed to pass all the subjects that have been passed back. Which is everything except General Science :D Woots~ I really didn't see that one coming. I was already prepared to fail Add Maths and Chemistry--my two worst subjects. But somehow i passed my Chem [the last page was all wrong! lol]. And as for my Add Maths, i was super lucky. Exactly 40 lolz! Close call x3 *runs around being happy* lol.

Now for the bad. I lost my water bottle. Again. It's the 2nd time this month-.- The first one i lost was vivid pink. I don't even know how i lost it. So my dad went to buy another one but in orange this time. And before i even had time to "pei yang gan qing" with my new bottle, it was left in the Bio lab of our school. Yeesh i almost went to school at 5pm to find it but someone saved me from embarrassment by telling me not to 'cause the lab would be locked. Love u! lol


My lost bottle has the almost exact same shade as this one. Where is it? Miss my bottle lol. I'll post a real pic when i find it=]

I went to the Spring today. I was so irritated by my cous-.- I'd actually go as far as to say i hate him, the whiny piggo. He couldn't stop talking and whining and complaining... Oh gosh it drove me crazy. I know im not a quiet person myself but when with family, i'd rather have silence than the whole bunch of them yammering. It drove me up the freakin' flowery walls of the Spring. And to add to my emotional load, i passed by a particular store. Yeesh i even took a pic of it. People'll think im a sam pa lao, never see stores before-.-

After all that i just felt so suffocated. I just couldn't take it anymore. I think i went crazy=\ Thanks to KT+Zo+Chu, i felt so much better afterwards. After my breakdown, 2 people had one too. Don't wanna get too detailed=) Chu, the best of luck for a brighter future. Everyone has their own problems right? Hers just seems too serious. Nobody should have to face what she is facing, what she has faced all her life. I just wish i could do more for her=\ As for Kath, im sure you'll get through with yours=)

Just for you=)


Somethings just never change. You think you're all that, but i say you're just a pile of crap. See, another opening to a poem. But you're so not worth it. I composed something for the last person i hate but im so not gonna waste my time on composing one for you. Too bad huh? Who cares, go and envy that last bitch la.

Don't think i don't know what you did, don't think i have no idea what you say. Im not so naive, nor that ignorant, and definitely not as stupid you think me to be. I see through all you acts, all your pretenses, and sometimes i just pity you. Just another wannabe. Get your own life la!

Stop acting masculine when you are actually so damn feminine.
Stop pretending to be absolutely fine when you're hurting inside.
Stop faking a plain ordinary creep when you're just another huai3 emo freak.

I hate your lies. I hate your attitude. And most of all, i hate your stupid whiny voice. Sometimes i just feel like sticking one famous line up your beloved anus [i actually forgot what it is-.-]. And why don't you get it on already? You're so perfect together. And im sure the other will be there thanking the gods for being spared. Just like i am.

When you say im like shit, i'd say "at least i have a bigger dick." But uhh...i don't. So ahh... never mind=)

I don't care a fuck, i don't piss a damn.
You can just kiss my butt, and shut up with the crap.
It's over, before it even started.
I could care less, 'caz all you did was farted.
No, you're not the one i missed.
And im sure it's the same with you.
You're the one who chose to be parted, so it's what you gotta do.
We chose our separate paths, you agreed it was best.
When dawn turns to dusk, we just have to accept i guess.
It's not a matter of faults. You just can't let it go.
It's all behind us, so why not let it flow?
But really, i could care less. It just isn't capturing.
And thanks for all the attention, i find it all too flattering.


Hmm... composed it last night around 1.30 on my bed, in the dark, during a storm. Finished it at 1.59 exactly. Pretty good since it didn't come out being total crap ;D
What does it mean? Why am i doing wuliao stuff like this?
That's for me to know, and you to ponder xP

p/s : KT, it's not what you think lolz. Y, yeah yeah, i failed=\

K - Killer attitude.
A combination of hyperactivity, total coolness, and extreme superbness that just leaves you starry-eyed. Exaggeration xD.

A - Always there...for the people she cares=)
Awesomeness that rocks your socks. Can't shake her off even if you wanted to. Not that anyone would =]

T - The best.
Ever.

H - Humorous
Live. Laugh. Love.

L - Lookin' good! And lovable too =)
Always. Haha.

E - Exceptionally herself.
No posers here :D

E - Extremely emo.
No shit. And we love her for it.

N - Naughty? Or nice?
A 'lil bit of both =)


Happy birthday, Kath! Another year older, another year maturer [hopefully, but i doubt it lol]. Stay cute, stay funny, but if you change, we'll still love you the same=)

Problems

Everything i do is absolutely wrong.
Everything i say is just worthless bull.
The air i breathe, the space i occupy...is just plain wasting.
My very existence is the biggest mistake you ever made.

Everything you do is right.
Everything you say is important and valuable.
The air you breathe, the space space you occupy is putting it to good use.
Your existence benefits the world.

You are always right. You do so because you care. You say so for my own good. Doing so makes you responsible. Saying so is completing your duty.

It's been 15 years, 3 months and 13 days since i first cried. It's been at least 13 years since i first stood. I eat solid food. I don't walk with a wobble. I don't need you to wipe my butt after i defaecate. But why do you always think that i do?

You always exaggerate so much. I never asked for much. I don't go out every day. I don't online every waking moment. I don't waste hundreds on smsing. But every time, you say i do. You say all i do is useless, worthless crap. You think you're always right. I should respect you, but what about me?

I only wish for...

Some respect
After all, i am a human being. I have my own thinking, my own feelings and my rights. Please respect them.

Listen
I have the right to voice out. And please don't feel you have the right to shut it out.

Talk nicely
Nobody likes to be shouted at.

No exaggeration
When the first sentence is a lie. The rest is bound to be.

Freedom
Don't say i can't. Im not a child. At least give me the benefit of doubt. I just might surprise you.

Is that just too much to ask? Apparently, it is.